Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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