i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
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