I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
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