only if we run a train.
done.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
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It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
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I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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