I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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