He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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