You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
