no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I think we might need a safe word for this...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
