Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Randomize
