Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
