ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
