dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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