I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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