At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
So many bounce houses so little time
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
