I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
