he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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