I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize