Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(519): View more from Ontario

I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.

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(818): View more from California

she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick

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(310): View more from California

I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(516): View more from New York

Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)

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(440): View more from Ohio

thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.

(440): View more from Ohio

anything for my little brother.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages

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(207): View more from Maine

Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one

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