are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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