This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
