Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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