its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
