This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
