erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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