Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
