i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize