A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
