Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
