Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
