I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Randomize
