I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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