he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
