I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
