Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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