dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
