Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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