Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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