I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
