I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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Blow job season was short but glorious.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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