I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
