After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
