My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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