That's when you crack a 10am beer
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
