That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
this beer tastes like vomit already
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
