She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
