I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
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