If i come over, it means nothing
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
