Define "chronic" masturbator.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is wine microwaveable?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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