Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
