maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
