I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
