he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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