He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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