id be glad to
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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