It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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