pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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