He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
