Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
