I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
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Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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