I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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